


Get Up and Go, Let the World Know

by apple9131999



Series: The States of America [4]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fights, Historical Hetalia, Internalized Transphobia, Non-Graphic Suicide Attempt, Period Typical Attitudes, Suicide Attempt, Trans Female Character, War of 1812
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 17:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6619840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple9131999/pseuds/apple9131999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because he’d wanted to do it too, and that wasn’t right. They were men, boys whatever. Boys or men don’t wear dresses and think about different names for themselves</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Up and Go, Let the World Know

**Author's Note:**

> Mississippi- Hunter  
> Missouri- Kyla  
> Louisiana- Louis  
> Michigan- Ashley  
> Maine- Sarah  
> Illinois- Brandon  
> Indiana- Jackson
> 
> This takes place just after the fort at Detroit, Michigan fell to British troops during the War of 1812.
> 
> There is an attempted suicide by a minor (in this story) character. Whether or not this character had suicidal thoughts is not apparent in this narrative. However, the attempt starts at the end of the story. The attempt is there, but not harm comes to the character. They are able to talk them out of it. The attempt starts at "They found the rest of the family..." and ends with "Missouri started shaking so bad..."

_Rhode Island Ave, D.C.- August, 1812_

* * *

He left the house to get a respite from Louisiana’s melancholy mood that he could feel even though he had not seen the latter in several days since-

Well, nevermind.

It was also get out of the way of Missouri’s bitter scorn that he could feel in the air along with the waves of residual embarrassment because he’d found his _brother_ , his _best friend-_

He grunted and kicked a stone so hard to thwacked against the nearest trees. He could feel eyes on him and when he turned, he saw the collection of Great Lake Territories sitting underneath a tree. Michigan was the only one looking in his direction. It looked as though the youngest was prattling on about something, but Indiana and Michigan were only half-listening.

Mississippi snarled low in his throat and stormed off to the trees that marked the end of the property.

He stared down at the bank of the river he found for a while, weighing the cons of Rhode Island or Connecticut seeing his pants soaked and whether or not the heat of the summer would be able to dry out his clothes in enough time for him to get home for supper. He decided to just go with it and stripped out of his shirt, shoes, socks, and the watch he’d gotten for his twelfth birthday two years ago.

The stream was cool and the water dampened his pants so that they clung to his legs in a distracting way. He’d been just about to untie his pants and shuck them off and back onto the bank when Missouri appeared.

He froze in the mid-thigh high water, hands on the ties of his trousers, staring flummoxed at his little sister.

She raised an eyebrow at him and contented herself with sitting on the bank, a no-nonsense expression on her face that she had picked up from Connecticut. “Why aren’t you talking to Louis?”

“None of your beeswax, Kyla.”

She scowled at him. “I know there’s something that neither of you are telling me. What happened?”

“None of your business,” he snapped, sinking down into the water.

She crossed her arms across her chest and snarled, “It is so my business. Louis won’t say anything to me either and he started crying today. Why are you two acting like this?”

“You wouldn’t understand, Kyla. You’re only seven.”

“And _you're_ fourteen and Louis is 284, but you’re the ones that are acting like you’re six or something.”

“You wouldn’t get it-”

“Stop leaving me out of this! It affects all of us! Everyone’s concerned.”

“I don’t see Ashley or Brandon or-or-...Jackson! bothering me about this.”

“They told me they were worried! Jackson told me how either you or Louis sneak out of your room to go sleep in the kitchen when you think everyone’s asleep.”

Mississippi ground his teeth and stood up, scowling down at Missouri- who didn’t have the good sense to look afraid. “Tell Jackson to shut his mouth and to stop meddling, Kyla.”

Missouri’s lips pinched together, her nose scrunched up, and- oh God- her eyes swam with tears. His shoulders slumped slightly as Missouri began to cry in earnest.

“Louis so sad all the time, you hide away from everyone and glare at Louis whenever you see him, Ashley doesn’t sleep well, Sam and Victoria are so stressed out, Jackson looks sick to his stomach whenever we eat. And I’m so scared that something’s going to happen to one of us, and-and- _hnn!”_

He splashed through the water in his haste to get to Missouri. He grabbed her close to his chest, wetting her dress, but she only held tighter to him and cried, dripping snot and drool on his chest probably.

When she had calmed down, she refused to let him let go of her. She was running her fingers through the water beaded on his upper arms, her hair scratching under his chin.

“What happened?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

He sighed heavily. “Why do you think something happened?”

“Well, because Louis told me that ‘it’ wouldn’t happen again and you kept on telling me it wasn’t my business and not that something hadn’t happened. So…?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She was silent for a long time before she whispered, “Louis thinks you hate him. Do you?”

“No, I don’t. I’m not mad at him...it’s just awkward…”

“Why?” she demanded softly, leaning her head against him.

Because he’d wanted to do it too, and that wasn’t right. They were men, boys whatever. Boys or men don’t wear dresses and think about different names for themselves. He had fled when Louis’ eyes started to shine with hope because he wasn’t yelling or screaming- that’s what Louis had told him, but he’d bit his lip and turned on his heel- didn't yell or scream because Louis was his best friend and his brother. “Tell Louis that…”

A beat of silence and then Missouri prompted, “That...?”

“Uh… that uh… that it… doesn't really need to not happen again. I mean uh um…” he cleared his throat and could feel a lick of shame crawl down his throat and heat the tips of his ears. “Tell him I’m not mad… I just need a little bit.”

“Why don’t you tell him that yourself?” Missouri begged.

He shook his head and disentangled himself from his sister. “Just tell him. Please Kyla.”

She looked up at him with big, sad green-blue eyes. “Ok,” she said softly.

* * *

One morning later that month, he’d been woken by Illinois screaming for Indiana and the terrified patter of feet as several people responded to Illinois’ screaming. He nearly bowled over Sarah and Missouri as the two fled from their room, tugging on dresses and shoes. He looked past them into their room, but found the third roommate missing.

“Where’s Ashley?”

Missouri shook her head and bit her tongue as they rushed down the stairs. Sarah stumbled just ahead of the two of them, grabbing onto the railing, looking as though she had been sucker-punched. “Oh God,” she whispered, her eyes wide in fear. Her hands grasped at nothing and Mississippi pressed a hand on her back.

“Sarah?” he asked, worried.

She looked up at him, her mouth and throat working, but nothing happened. Then, “Oh God,” she whimpered and crossed herself…

“Sarah!” Missouri screamed, latching herself to Mississippi’s side.

“Ashley,” Sarah managed to get out. She still looked as though she was going to throw up. Michigan had been acting off kilter for the past few days if Mississippi thought about it. Sarah spared one last hopeless glance at Missouri before tearing out of the house, following the rest of occupants’ path down to the stream.

Mississippi had been just about to nudge Missouri along when he felt the presence of another behind him. He turned to see Louisiana standing at the top of the stairs, pulling up short when he noticed who was at the end of the staircase. His long hair was in tangles around his head, not sheared short like Mississippi’s. Mississippi snapped his eyes back down and watched the way Missouri’s hand tightened on his arm.

“What’s going on?” Louisiana asked as he slowly descended, blinking sleep from his eyes. He’d been out in the stables for the majority of last night. Mississippi hadn’t even seen him at supper.

Missouri’s voice was hysterical. “Ashley woke me up early this morning because she was talking to herself and walking around the room, grabbing at her hair. Then she walked out of the room before I could ask what was wrong and- oh my God!” she said, grabbing at Mississippi. “Oh my God, Hunter! She did this before! She’s tried to leave-”

A thunderous clapping of feet towards the house cut off Missouri that preluded Conneticut bursting into the house, her red hair loose about her head. Her eyes latched onto Missouri who had pulled herself away from Mississippi. “Kyla, do you any remember French?”

Missouri shrugged helplessly. “Maybe? Did you find Ashley? She was speaking French this morning.”

“I know French,” Louisiana said from right behind Mississippi. Mississippi jumped and flinched away from Louisiana, looking resolutely down at his bare feet.

Connecticut made an impatient noise and grabbed Louisiana's hand and tugged him and Missouri along with her. Mississippi followed, a little lost.

They found the rest of the family below the tree that Michigan had managed to climb, the latter screaming up a storm in something not quite foreign to Mississippi. Louisiana faltered for a moment before rushing for the tree, knocking Illinois aside as he swung up into the branches beside Indiana. Missouri listened for a long moment before she started to plead with Michigan in the tree. Upon noticing Louisiana joining her on her branch, Michigan made a noise and stepped out farther. Rhode Island grabbed Sarah and Illinois, yelling for Indiana to get out of the tree. Sarah and Missouri looked as though they were going to throw up with how hard they were crying.

After Connecticut got Michigan to let Louisiana to help her out of the tree and Michigan had been swept into a cuddle pit by Indiana and Illinois, Missouri started shaking so badly she needed to sit down. Mississippi, distracted by Sarah hiding her face in Rhode Island’s dress and screaming, didn’t see Louisiana help Missouri up and hold her in his arms. Mississippi however, did hear Missouri’s soft pleading for him.

He only hesitated a moment before hugging the both of them which he thinks counts for something.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Louis eventually (early 2000's) changes her name to Samantha. It isn't until a few years later that Mississippi decides they don't want any label on their gender. Missouri ends up coming out as agender as well.
> 
> Title is from Mississippi's state song "Go, Mississippi"


End file.
